I go from family life to military life to married life. I’m ready for the next chapter in my life: bachelorhood. I can’t stay married to this selfish, mean-spirited woman. I deserve more and better in a spouse. I am not to be taken for granted while suffering constant abuse which is my current state of existence.
Freedom from neglect and disappointment into a life of self-directed and -created bliss and harmony is what I seek and I shall find. Having a woman like mine is like inviting a disease to completely debilitate you. She tears down, yet doesn’t rebuild; she criticizes yet fails to uplift; she scowls yet doesn’t produce gaiety. When the negative attributes of a person is all they show and tend to see in others wears your emotional stability thin, it’s time to heal, step out of the fire, and apply ointment. I need some time, and someone right FOR me will enter my life. It would be nice to have emotional support, physical intimacy, and intellectual engagement. I would like to share myself openly with a companion without fear of ridicule and judgement while expecting to receive the opposite, ie. gleeful enlightenment or deep understanding. I would like a woman with the same sex drive as me, morning, noon, and night who understands the important effect of spontaneous yet frequent physical contact. I’d most like to expound on observational theories in eloquence expecting to engender a meaningful discussion where the participants (my spouse and I) attain a more enlightened and enriched worldview.
I am tired of actively suppressing my urge to show affection. I am always a fool in love, yet I can’t allow my love be un-reciprocated as it leaves me feeling used and empty. Currently, I can love, yet do not allow myself to. I need someone to fill that gap in order to feel loved. Until then, I am a neglected lover, seemingly predisposed to a life of neglectful relationships where misunderstanding, and apathetic and selfish ignorance, rule. I want to be held in esteem for my helpful, peaceful, and driven personality. Once this chapter ends and the next begins, I can be of the notion that my life is progressing in a desirable direction. My wife does not fulfill me, only empties and crushes me like a soda can.